IXI

I saw today in my sleep
That I was dragging you from your hair
As if you didn’t know how to leave
As if you didn’t know how to walk.
And I remember thinking
That some dreams don’t end
I remember saying that eternity
Isn’t what lasts forever
Only what repeats itself.
I could tell you now
About how all this is just words
Of cheap four-dimensional mockery
And that eternity exists
In a thousand forms – just not for us.

I saw today in my sleep
That you were secretly crying
As if I didn’t know you could
As if I didn’t know I was to blame.
And I remember thinking
That in dreams we are never over
I remember saying that sleep
Is the last illicit refuge
A small castle made from grains of seconds.
I could tell you now
About how all this is just words
Words like me and like you
And that some people
Speak in their sleep.

Today I will never sleep again
Yesterday I will never be awake again
And tomorrow
Tomorrow I was the dream.

I saw today in my sleep
That I only said a few words
As if you knew how to listen
As if you knew how to believe.
And I remember thinking
That I am too weak to fight the demons
And that I never learned how to accept help.
Today I will not sleep
And if in my wake I see a dream
I will drag it from the hair towards the sun
As if it knows how not to burn
As if it knows how not to cry
When it sees that it has no shadow.

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